feigned indifference: 2008

Saturday, March 15, 2008

chalk dust

She's in her Dad's office. It's dusty. There are lots of books and neat piles of bland looking magazines everywhere. Daddy's raincoat is on the teetering coat rack and there is chalk dust in the air. Sometimes she draws pictures on the blackboard but not now. Now she and her sister are playing the funnest game, "Princess". It involves a large handkerchief and a stranded maiden. They take turns waving the large cloth square out othe window like someone imitating a gay man, as they sing "Help me! SAVE me!" in falsetto. There are imaginary crocodiles just below.
It's Saturday, the necessary piano lessons are over and she's excited by the freedom that starts precisely now every week. The adults will be in a good mood tonight and mostly ignore the kids. Her Mom will put on a silk Moo-moo with an apron over it and heat frozen eggrolls in the little oven. Her dad will make martinis with shiny silver tools and clear liquid and olives.
Right now her Dad does not share her pleasure in the princess game. With obvious effort he extracts his mind from this work and calmly tells her that she can't wave that out the window anymore. However, she may, if she likes, pretend that this coat hanger is a window and wave through it. She and her sister stare at him. She's mortified by the suggestion but he's asked so nicely that she can't say no. She pretends to do it momentarily, embarrassed and feeling sorry for her Dad.

Monday, March 10, 2008

a little memory...

I am loving this. My aunt is so much fun. After dinner we usually separate or watch TV, but here at the farm we all stay together and play cards and my mom talks so much more than she ever does. Really, the adults are playing and we are just there almost unnoticed. They are so enthusiastic that they're oblivious to us. The bugs mass around the spotlight in a haze but we're on the screened-in porch so they don't bother us. The floor is cool cement on my bare feet and the whiporwills sing relentlessly. They sound almost frantic. You can see the moon above the fields and it makes me think of a prehistoric landscape, like dinosaurs should be walking around out there in a marsh. There is a red and white checked oilcloth on the table. I don't know where my dad is, or my uncle. This seems like a women's card game. My Grandma cracks me and my sister up. Once there was a snake in the garage and she went after it with a hatchet. It was in the old horsehair sofa that we use for furniture up here. There is a picture of a cool swimming pool taped to the ice box. My cousin put it there to help us feel better in the heat of the day. The only water comes from an electric pump outside the door.